I miss this lady.

Lately I have been thinking so much about her

and I just wish so much that I could have her back even just for an hour.

She was my grandma... but really she was so much more.

I know that if she were still here then she would randomly call to check on me.

She would know when I was having rough days and needed someone to talk to..

She always knew.

She would call to ask me about Avery and she would want to know all the details about her.

She would be there when I needed a reminder that I can do hard things, 

and she would encourage me so much just by those few little words.

She would be so excited about this new little baby, I just know it. 

She would ask how Hayden was doing in school and let us both know how proud she 

was of him. She was our biggest fan. 

She would want us to come visit her since we live so much closer to Mesa now, 

and I know we would have already gone.

I wish we could go. 

Hayden asked me the other night the thing I missed most about my grandma and I couldn't narrow it down, haha. But the more I thought about it I think I figured it out. 

I miss that my grandma cared. 

I miss that she would call just to call and to find out what was going on in my life.

I was important to her and she cared about the small details in my life.

She would call to see what activities I had planned at the assisted living center for that day.

She called to see what I made for dinner that night.

She called to see what me and Hayden did on our date night that week. 

She called to make sure that I was ok after Avery was born.

She called simply because I mattered to her.

She was my mother.

She was there when I needed her, good times and bad. 

Sometimes I think about the relationship I had with my grandparents and can't help but feel extremely grateful for them and their sacrifice. I was so blessed to have them. 

I miss that. I miss my grandma and her love, support, and encouragement.

I miss her silly jokes, and her wise counsel.

I miss her phone calls and visits.

I miss her letters and poems.

She is my hero.

And as much as I wish she was here to share this part of my life with, 

I know she is watching over me and my little family and cheering us on from above.

And I know that if I live my life worthily then I can continue to make her and my grandpa proud.