A Vacation!

 We got to take a trip to Utah and we had so much fun! 

We initially went because Hayden had an interview/tour thing for grad school at SUU.

But, we decided to make a big trip/vacation out of it and we are so glad we did!

We started off in draper and stayed with Dawan for a few days, and saw my brother Taylor and spent a day with him too. Then we headed to Cedar City for a day and spent all of monday there and then 

headed to St. George and stayed clear until friday visiting with Hayden's grandma. 

It was seriously so so so much fun in St. George!

We loved it there. 

Grandma Coombs spoiled us and it was a great time being with her.

We also took Aves to the splash park for the first time and she fell 

in love at once. 

I am seriously concerned that she is not afraid of water one bit.

It makes me so nervous!

Her diaper soaked right through her shorts ( and right onto her uncle Taylor!)

Water Bug

We stopped and took flowers to Haydens Grandma and Grandpa Winn's gravesite.

I never got the chance to meet them, but have heard great stories so this was a special day.

Playing outside at Great Grandma Coombs house

The Easter Egg hunt with Aunt Dawan

She is such a curious and determined little girl.

Easter Sunday

Holidays are just so much better with children! I had so much fun picking out the perfect Easter dress for Avery, and planning a little Easter egg hunt for her. Since we got back home to rexburg pretty late the night before Easter, and we have church at 9, Easter morning didn't quite go how I imagined but it still turned out wonderful. We were able to spend the afternoon with Jordan and Mel and the family. It's so great being so close to them, we will sure miss them when we move! They got us some silly bunny teeth ring pops, and it was so funny to watch Avery with hers:) later that afternoon me and Hayden filled Easter eggs with animal crackers and hid them around our front room. Avery knew just what to do, and it was so adorable to watch. I am excited for the Easters in the years to come, where I can make it a little more meaningful and teach her about Christ and the resurrection. I love this time of year and the reminders all around us of Christ and all he has done for us. Because if him I have the opportunity to try a little harder each day and better myself. I love my Savior, I know he lives. 

Typical sunday

Church lately is an adventure of its own. I haven't made it through all of a meeting once yet since Avery has been born. It can be frustrating that's for sure. But there's nothing quite like rocking your baby to sleep in that quiet mothers room while everyone else is in class. There is just something special about it. I know this won't last forever, I am trying my hardest to soak up every minute and memory I have with this little one. I know one day I will have all my children sitting reverently on a bench and we will make it through the whole meeting without a problem, and I know I will look back on times like these and miss them with all of my heart. 

Just me and my girl

A day at BYU

We've spent the day up at BYU visiting aunt Dawan and this little one is wore out! Within 5 minutes of being in the car, she was fast asleep! 

splish splash

This bathing beauty LOVES bath time!

She loved having Aunt Dawan there making her laugh by blowing bubbles.

Aves and daddy

Aves loves picking daddy up from school! They have such a special relationship and I love watching them together. It makes my heart happy!

Ready for warmer days

I love that she thought this was just as funny as I did. She is so much fun! What did I ever do without her?

Girls night:)

During the priesthood session, we had a girls night with these wonderful ladies and had a great time. Avery loved being in the spotlight and all the attention she got! We are grateful to be so close to family! 

Discovering ME.

This is going to be super random, but I feel like I just need to write tonight.

I think all my life I have felt the need to please everyone around me.

Even if it wasn't something I necessarily wanted or wanted to do, 

I felt like the only way those people around me would be happy and love me is 

if I did what they wanted, or agreed with what they wanted me too. 

I did everything for them.. I lived my life to please them.

I felt like that was the only way I would be accepted and loved.

I think a lot of this stemmed from the fact that I didn't have the ideal life, 

and to be honest I felt like a huge burden to all those around me. 

I never really felt like I belonged anywhere. 

I almost felt like I was just here, and really just taking up space. 

I remember constantly having thoughts of being worthless

and there being no place for me. 

I was in the way.

 I was interrupting other peoples lives and families. 

I was a nobody.

Now, I must say that I know this isn't true. 

I do think that Satan played into the factor and this was one

way that he was getting to me. 

I was always believing his lies.

I feel like the older I got and the more confidence I gained in myself

that the better things got for me and I started to see that I did indeed have a purpose in 

this life, and I wasn't just a waste.

I began to see that the was a purpose for me and that the Lord did have a plan for me. 

It wasn't the plan that I really wanted, but I learned that if I worked hard and tried my hardest 

that maybe one day I would be able to experience the life that I dreamed about. 

A life where I felt like I belonged, a life where those people I cared about and loved 

felt the exact same way about me back.

I wanted to feel needed.. I wanted to feel wanted..

and I didn't want to feel like a burden to those around me.

I am no where near perfect and to be honest I still struggle with a lot of those same feelings, 

but it is something that I know that I will always work hard to overcome. 

But right now i am in a place in my life that I never thought I would be when I was younger. 

Because of the family situation that I was born into, I honestly felt like

no one would ever to able to look past that. 

I felt like I would never be good enough for someone.

Does that even make sense? I don't know. 

I just felt like I came with too much baggage for anyone to handle.. or to even want. 

I feel like I lived with a giant cloud over me.. I could never see that I could become something different.

I think it first took Hayden. 

I think he was the first person that ever saw me as something greater than I saw in myself. 

He was the first person that I felt could see past 

my insecurities and imperfections...

In fact, he was the first person to see me as ME.

But that was all it took. 

To this day I am in constant awe that this boy, who is now my husband, 

saw me for me and all the potential that I had, 

when all I was seeing was what I wasn't and my weaknesses. 

I'm not sure how it all works, but for me, I needed that. 

It was a strength for me and helped me grow. 

I am living a dream life.

Don't believe me? Come to my house and see for yourself. 

I have dishes in the sink, I have laundry that needs to be done, 

I have a bed that needs to be made, I have a stubborn yet beautiful baby girl sleeping 

in her crib, and a husband sitting on the couch. 

My house isn't always clean, me and Hayden don't always get along, 

there are days that almost seem impossible with Avery...

but this is MY life. It is something that i worked hard for.

And I am so proud of my little family.

Me and Hayden have rough days, just like anybody else, but we have each other and 

I love him more than anything else in this world. 

He makes me laugh at least 1000 times a day.

Every night that I put Avery to bed I miss her about 20 minutes later. 

I might complain about getting up at 3 in the morning, but I secretly love it and love being needed. 

I love being a mother... she is my greatest joy.

My house isn't always clean, but I am so grateful for our little home and the wonderful

forever lasting memories that we are making in it. 

It isn't big or fancy, but its ours and I feel so comfortable in it. 

Every day I am figuring me out a little more. 

I am discovering a little more about myself. 

And right now, I really like where life is at.

I feel safe right now.

I feel not only needed, but wanted.

I feel Home.

A day at the BYU-Idaho gardens

Today in between conference sessions we went to the gardens

up at BYU-I and had a picnic lunch. 

Afterward we decided to test out our new camera and tripod and attempted 

to take some family pictures. 

They aren't the best, but they aren't too bad. 

I am happy to have something:)

So grateful for my little family!